I Can Have My Cake & So Can You

There’s a new way of operating in the world that I’ve been growing into and it’s called Taking a Stance of Choice & And. In the new way, instead of either/or thinking, I orient towards choice. And I allow for the possibility that there is enough to go around.

Moving beyond ingrained habits of sitting back and letting something else (like my inbox or boredom or a sense of duty) dictate how I spend my time and life energy, I take responsibility. I am asking “What’s the most positive choice I can make in this moment?” Moving beyond thinking that I am competing with others for limited love or other resources, I trust that there is enough. I can have my cake and so can you.

Developing this new way means establishing new habits, uncovering discomfort, and questioning assumptions. I get darned tired some days. Taking a stance of Choice & And is counter Western culture, radical even. What advertiser wants to you stop and think, “Is this good for me?” before you buy or eat or upgrade? I am not talking about depriving ourselves. I’m talking about choosing the best for you individually and for the whole, as consumers and citizens, as parents and workers. I believe that this stance is our next evolutionary leap, and one that will save us and our spaceship Earth.

Choosing to live in Choice & And is like building a new muscle. I’m choosing the pain AND the gain. I’m choosing AND allowing for you to choose, for the best possible outcome for us both.

For me the practice of Choice & And began a few years ago. I start and stop, I make progress and slip back. And there have been some amazing awakenings. Recently I made a list of “both and” pairings about my vision for the new year and a new job:

Taking a Stance of Choice & And

• Harmonious & challenging
• Peaceful & productive
• Busy & solitude
• Rich & simple
• Individual & collective
• Risk & passion, courage, hope
• Enough money & time for family, crafts, travel
• The greater good & my personal well being

What’s your “both and” list? What serves you as a gentle reminder to return to a stance of Choice & And?

Note of gratitude: Thanks to Jennifer Cohen and her colleagues at Seven Stones Leadership for introducing me to trusting that there is enough, and to Catherine Bachy for coaching me to write my Choice & And list in a 2013 visioning session.